Being stupid

Once again the clouds gather, once again it begins to rain………once again I begin walking through the vast stretch of the memory lane. Some forgotten, some half remembered..and some memories which I wish I could forget....
I am wondering what happened with the good old times, with all the innocent dreams, silly enthusiasm and childhood purity, with all the realness of our own worlds. I remember sunny days, breezy afternoons, and the smell of spring.
I think I might be selfish… I don’t like nor understand the attitude I have towards some things and some people. And yet, even though I can’t explain why or find any reason at all for my behaviour I keep acting that way.
The thing is, I am afraid of losing people I care about as I know how hard it is to find the worthy ones. And seeing how, unlike many other people, I don’t make friends all the easily, I like to keep the ones I have by me at all times. The problem arises when I am not able to do just that, and it happens more often every day.
I do understand, we all have our own paths to follow and they often lead us in all the different directions and as the time goes by, you lose track of who went where. It gets harder to keep in touch and eventually, one way or the other, without even noticing, you lose it completely. By that time, you have already replaced your old friend you used to hang out with, with the new one and you don’t even think about your old friend anymore.


Today I admit, I am possessive about my bestie, I feel that’s wrong and immature, and I wish I could change that about me, I wish I could be less selfish and make peace with people choosing their own life path whether or not it’s a part of mine. I shouldn’t feel sad about it, I shouldn’t give up on those people.....One year!! A very small time. But large enough for hearts to entangle, for everlasting bonds to prosper, and for sweet relations to develop......

I want to thank you for trusting me, and listening to me when I needed you to. I wanted to let you know that everything you do means a lot to me even though it seems as if most of it is trivial and stupid. I wanted to thank you for letting me help you, even though I know that you really know how to do whatever it is that I help you with.

The sun has set long ago in my world and the skies became gloomy. Now I can only hope it doesn’t rain all day.. Although, most of the times, it does.