Aamir Khan's talk show 'Satyamev Jayate' returned for
another season with a bang. The first episode focused on the epidemic of
violence against women that has gripped the nation since the horrific Delhi
gang rape incident of December 16, 2012.
I give hats off to Aamir to start off the second season with
gender issues. But somehow I feel like all men Aamir also fell to the stereotype
of considering gender issue as a women’s issue. I don’t see this as women’s issue,
which some good men help out with. I argue that these are men’s issue.
Gender violence is often represented as a women’s issue and
that gives men an excuse to stay away from the same .Gender has always
been synonym with women, as race is for Africans and sexual orientation for
homosexuality. This is the way system and media acts in creating a distorted perception.
We address the issue of rape and domestic violence from a single perspective,
the victim’s perspective and the show also primarily did the same. It is a legitimate
thing to do, but this approach has not taken us anywhere in terms of preventing
the horrifying incidents.
Why don’t we address the issue of gender violence from the men’s perspective?
We boys have always been taught to be a man. Tough, courageous, leading, fearless, superior and emotionless, that is what men are supposed to be. We are conditioned to be boring from the day we are born. We are conditioned not to cry and not to be compassionate. There are of course absolutely wonderful things about being a man, but at the same time there is stuff that is STRAIGHT UP HARD AND TWISTED.
We boys have always been taught to be a man. Tough, courageous, leading, fearless, superior and emotionless, that is what men are supposed to be. We are conditioned to be boring from the day we are born. We are conditioned not to cry and not to be compassionate. There are of course absolutely wonderful things about being a man, but at the same time there is stuff that is STRAIGHT UP HARD AND TWISTED.
My cousin brother, probably 12 years old,was crying the
other day and his dad’s comes in and ask him the same question that I had faced
20 years before, “Why are you crying? Stop crying like a girl and be a man!!”
My god! What is wrong with us?
My cousin brother is a football enthusiast; he calls himself
a player though. I asked him today as I was watching Satyameve Jayathe; on
what he would he feel if in front of all the players, coach tells him, that
he plays like a girl? I was expecting him to say something like he would be sad
or frustrated, but instead he said, “I
WOULD BE DESTROYED.”
If it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we
teaching him about girls.
I believe we need to have a drastic change in our attitude towards
women; not raping them is not everything. We need to give a serious thought on
how we raise our boys, and teach them to be men. It’s time to teach them that it’s
good for a man; to have feeling and emotions; to have empathy, and not to be
dominating, to have women who are good friends and nothing more.
Let’s liberate boys from the stereotype of a man, for my
liberation as a man is tied to the liberation of my sister as a woman.
Satyamev Jayate
